This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: No Fizzle, Fo Shizzle
I’m not one for “poppin’ bottles.” I don’t like carbonation. No bubbles for me, thank you very much. There has never been a time in my life when I drank any kind of carbonated beverage. Ever since my first “sippy cup” I hated carbonation. I would go to birthday parties and have to ask for water because I didn’t like soda. Sometimes, I would get embarrassed about it because it was “cool” to drink soda, so I would just eat my pizza slice and birthday cake without drinking anything at all. I specifically remember having very chapped lips from eating salty pizza without having anything to wash it down with.
As someone who likes to be inclusive of others, I didn’t and continue not to like sparkling water. I don’t want to put my face in my glass and feel little bubbles burst on my face before I begin drinking it. You won’t catch me drinking beer or champagne either. Any time I have ever tasted a carbonated beverage, either by accident or on purpose, I’ve had a mildly violent reaction. Not only does it feel extremely weird in your mouth, but I also don’t like the actual taste or flavor. There is not a single carbonated drink I have ever tried where I thought, “this is a good flavor, but I’d prefer it without the bubbles.” No! The taste is gross and the bubbles are gross!
In my lifetime, I’ve had the unfortunate experience of sipping a drink that was carbonated without knowing so. This has occurred in two primary ways. First, we have the mistaken cup situation. In this scenario, I picked up a cup to drink, thinking it was water, and took a big gulp of fizzy Sprite instead. The second catastrophe happened when I ordered a Lemonade at a restaurant that had not been identified as carbonated on the menu. Both of these terrible events have happened to me more than once and if I am not in a location where it is appropriate to completely spit the whole drink out of my mouth, I will swallow hard, make my face all scrunched up, scream “ahhhhh yuuuuuck,” and ask for water as if there is a five alarm fire going on inside a children’s hospital.
This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: No Fizzle, Fo Shizzle 
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Another hilarious post. Unfortunately, the hilarity comes from sad truth.