This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: Coffee Causes Problems
Today, September 29, 2015 is National Coffee Day. I think that for most people, like my dad, every day is National Coffee Day so there isn’t very much of a difference. Some places are giving away cups of coffee for free or doing some kind of BOGO offer, again this has no effect on my dad’s daily coffee consumption. My guess is that for the most part, those of us who drink coffee once in a blue moon decide, “oh it’s National Coffee Day! I should celebrate and get coffee.”
I’d like to be a coffee drinker if my brain and mouth was in control of my body. Unfortunately, it appears my stomach is the ruler of this kingdom and the law of the land is coffee = death. At my first job out of college, I was a regular coffee drinker. I needed it desperately to stay awake through the 12+ hour days I would put in. I had stopped drinking it for a while and then picked the habit back up in graduate school because of my early morning classes. Once I began my new career, I always felt so rushed in the morning due to the 45 minute subway commute, that I didn’t have time to have coffee. And so it seems, being away from it for so many months has caused a visceral reaction within my intestines.
On occasion, I forget about the impact coffee can have on my ability to maintain human functioning and I will order one at brunch or stop somewhere for a cup in the afternoon. Currently, I’d say there is an 85% chance that I will be in extreme stomach pain within 3 hours of drinking coffee. If I were an optimistic person, I’d rephrase that statement to: “Currently, I’d say there is a 15% chance that I will feel fine and be without any pain after drinking coffee.” Regardless, more likely than not, if you are my mom or dad, you are getting a phone call from me complaining of a stomach ache.
The fact that today is National Coffee Day puts me in a strange predicament. I like to celebrate (and post to Instagram) the various national holiday foods. There are obviously tons of food holidays that I don’t celebrate because of my “dietary restrictions,” but I like to do what I can. So do I sacrifice myself for the art? I guess I could have something “coffee flavored” if I really wanted to participate, but that’s really not the same thing. I will do that on National Coffee Flavored Thing Day. Stuck in a quandary, I make the only reasonable decision: I decide to go to a coffee shop and get a decaffeinated coffee drink! AH HA! Brilliant!
Normally the thought of a decaf coffee seems a bit pointless to me. It’s like, if you want coffee, drink regular coffee because 3/4 of the point of it is the wake you up (the other 1/4 of the point is the make your breath smell). But, if you feel like you “must” drink coffee and really don’t want the additional caffeine, especially if that added caffeine makes you feel like you have appendicitis, go for the decaf!
Right now, I am in Birch Coffee in the Flatiron District. I have a decaf latte and obviously I bought a pastry. I am enjoying my latte very much. I am also enjoying my “magpie.” It’s blueberry. I have to tell you, I’d like the a/c power to be bumped up a bit, but I imagine the hot drink I have over here isn’t helping my situation. Perhaps I will get it iced next time.
This Week’s Truthful Tuesday: Coffee Causes Problems
by 
by 
Starbucks
one of the best parts of my day 🙂