We finally find a parking spot on this uncharted desert isle,
Will we eat food?
Using a fork and a knife.
We ordered food,
Looking around cautiously,
here at Gilligan’s, it’s vile.
So this is a tale without any praise
Of a dinner that was not fine,
I’ll have to make the best of things,
As I wait for my meal to dine.
The lettuce and the dressing too
Were the opposite of best,
Then tasting my calzone and sauce,
Was making me depressed.
No taste, no flavor, no atmosphere
Not a single good piece of cheese,
Like eating frozen dinners
It’s primitive as can be.
So listen close to me my friends,
Or dinner won’t create a smile
From a girl who listened to her dad,
And gave Gilligan’s a trial!”
My parents and I went to a restaurant called Gilligan’s last week. It was an extremely poor experience. I felt the best way to express myself was through song.
Honestly, the inside of the restaurant was dirty, like, “my butt is sticking to the seat” kind of dirty. Plus, the food was terrible. I don’t like to say negative things, but I can’t help it this time. I ordered Mozzarella Sticks, a Caesar Salad, and a Calzone. Granted it’s a seafood restaurants, and since I don’t eat seafood these seemed like pretty safe bets. The Mozzarella sticks were the same ones you can buy at a wholesale store, with that freezer burnt taste. The Calzone was a huge pile of bread, any kind of bread, certainly not pizza bread, stuffed with an entire cow’s worth of cheese. Normally I enjoy that much cheese, but it was not very good. I also got to have the same frozen marinara sauce again.
I can’t comment much on the Caesar Salad, as it was only in my mouth for about 5 seconds. What I can say is that I don’t recall ever seeing a “clear” caesar dressing before, in my life. That scared the crap out of me. I swear I thought it was Semen Salad instead of Caesar Salad. The entire plate, including the lettuce, was a few degrees above room temperature, so when it hit my mouth and was warm, it was immediately spit it back out onto my bread plate. That wasn’t happening for me anymore.
Without mentioning the issues with my parents’ food (cough cough a hair in my mom’s salad), the real highlight of the evening was the dirty drinking glass left on our table from someone else. Our waiter came by to see how everything was (no comment) and he had a mostly empty glass in his hand that I saw him pick up from another table. When we told him we were done eating, he set the glass down about 1.5 inches from my glass, and began clearing our plates. With full hands, he left, leaving the other person’s glass on our table.
In closing, I’d like to say that I did not want to have dinner here in the first place and I was right. I don’t even have a single picture to add to this post, because my brain was thinking, “let’s get out of here,” and not, “you may want to write about this experience, take some pictures.” Sorry if you wanted to see the Semen Salad. 🙁